Distinguishing Gaslighter Flames

Learn about four words to reduce the internal chaos caused by gaslighter tactics. Peace is possible. Knowing the meaning behind a necklace engraved with the words created, chosen, celebrated and cherished can help.

Created. There will never be another you.

Do you realize just how special and unique you are? No one has fingerprints like yours. Your hopes and dreams come from within your heart, mind, imagination, and creativity. Think about the life God gave you when he created you. Why did he bother to bring any of us into existence? I promise you, it wasn't so we could be hurt and abused by others. God loves everyone of us, as if there was only one of us. He gives us free will to accept His love or reject Him. If we truly believe we are created in the image of God, our lives should reflect kindness, honesty, selflessness, and peace. Let's enjoy the uniqueness of our lives, choose to leave a legacy of love, and give thanks for we have been created.

Cherish is a word I use to describe . . ..

Years ago a bride and groom would vow to love and cherish one another till death. But in every day conversation, the word cherish or cherished sleeps quietly tucked between pages in a dusty dictionary. Think about the meaning of the word. If you are cherished you are loved, precious, adored, treasured and prized. Who in your life cherishes you? Friends? Neighbors? Co-workers? Spend time with them. Let them know how much you appreciate a healthy relationship. Send a card, a text, or give them a call to encourage and thank them for being positive influences in your life. Cherishing may be a strange old fashioned word, but putting the meaning into action will never grow old.

CelebratedYears ago, I attended multiple funerals. Several of grandpa's brothers and sisters died of severe heart attacks. The funeral services were sad, serious, and reverent. Today, a celebration of life is welcomed. Time is allotted for friends and family to share stories and memories of the deceased. Emotional freedom falls as tears of laughter and sadness scoot down cheeks. To be celebrated after death is nice. To be celebrated while alive is so much greater. The meaning of celebrated is to be honored, blessed, cheered, and admired. Never take for granted this one and only life. It is a gift from God. When a person is celebrated and feeling blessed beyond measure, joy fills the heart and mind reducing gas lighter tactics to harmless fumes that simply dissipate!


Chosen means selected, special, picked, or being preferred as a favorite. I savor this word. Being chosen by the people we love doesn't always happen. But the truth of knowing we all are the chosen ones, changes us. You need to know how I came to have this necklace. I attended the Write to Publish Conference at Wheaton College and met a woman who worked with families during adoptions. This special necklace is given to a child adopted into a new forever family. When I shared my life story of a dysfunctional narcissistic family, she gave me this gift. So in a virtual way, please let me pass it on to you.
When heartache tries to overwhelm me with hurtful memories, I speak the truth to myself. I am created by a God who cherishes me. He celebrates my life. He chose me. I am His and He is mine. Just as these words are engraved on this necklace, engrave them into your mind and heart: Created, Cherished, Celebrated, and Chosen. Speak them often and believe you have been adopted into the sweetest forever family. May this knowledge and practice help to distinguish any gas lighter flames and ignite a peace that passes all understanding.
Blessings from your loving adopted sister,
Dr. Donna